


My Crazy Clown

by imsoglitter



Series: Homestuck x Reader [9]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Goats, Humanstuck, Pet Store
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 22:51:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13133862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imsoglitter/pseuds/imsoglitter
Summary: A series of Gamzee Makara x Reader oneshots





	My Crazy Clown

You glanced at the clock. 9:47. Only thirteen minutes before your shift ended and you got to leave the small pet store you worked at in the care of your manager.

The store had been dead for almost an hour and a half now. You had done everything you could think of doing. You had checked the filter in the fish tank (it was still working), changed the sawdust for the mice and rats (disgusting), and even hauled extra bags of dog and cat food out of the back room (despite the fact that the shelves wouldn’t really need to be restocked for at least three or four days).

You glanced at the clock. Twelve minutes. You thought about sweeping again. You had already done it twice tonight, but you were bored and there was nothing else to do. You wondered again why the pet store was open until eleven when any and all customers were out by eight thirty.

The flash of headlights through the front window of the store jerked you out of your wondering. The lights turned off as the engine stopped. You didn’t know much about cars, but you doubted anyone could figure out the make and model of this rust bucket. The car was old and had more dents than anything should be allowed to have. Above that it was painted a hideous shade of purple, and sloppily at that.

The man getting out of the car wasn’t much better. His hair was wild, sticking out in ways that implied he hadn’t brushed it in several years. He was tall and gangly, which made his polka-dotted sweatpants and purple shoes look even more ridiculous than they should have. As he entered the store, you almost groaned. He was wearing face paint. Literal clown face paint.

You looked at the clock again. Ten minutes left. Too early to just clock out and be done with it. You forced a smile as the man approached you at the checkout stand. He put both hands on the counter and leaned in, towering over you.

“Pardon me, but do you happen to know what a motherf***ing goat eats?”

“A-a what?”

“A mother f***ing goat, motherf***er.”

You were taken aback by his language and appearance. It seemed he didn’t mean offense though, so you guessed there was no harm done.

“A goat?” You wondered briefly if he was high. He wasn’t though. You had had high customers many times, and you knew exactly what it looked like and, more importantly, what it  _ smelled _ like. This guy was clean. Right now, at least. “I’ve never gotten asked about a goat before. Hold on one second.”

“No problem.”

You thought about getting your manager, but you figured you could handle this. You pulled up the wikipedia page for goat care. It looked like the goat would be fine eating whatever this guy had in his backyard, unless…

You looked up, the man had wandered over to the beta fish. He wasn’t high  _ right now _ , but who’s to say? The reason you had taken this job was because you loved animals, and you weren’t about to let that goat go to a bad home. Wasn’t it just last month when that article was published about the fraternity goat that had died due to mishandling and abuse? Not on your watch.

“Well sir,” you said across the room. He looked up. “It looks like your goat will be comfortable eating most anything you have in your backyard.  _ But _ I am going to recommend you purchase a few bags of our livestock feed, in aisle six. I don’t think we have any specific to goats, but the sheep feed should work for now.”

“Aw sweet! Thanks, motherf***er!” He went to the aisle and came back with a few bags of food pellets.

“Don’t thank me yet,” you warned, as you scanned the bags. “I would like to come and make sure that this goat of yours is in the right habitat, and that it has all the things it needs. I won’t have a case of animal abuse on my hands. That will be… $31.78”

He pulled his card out and swiped it. “You don’t got nothing to worry about, sis! But of course you can come visit Capricorn! Here…”

He pulled an old fast food receipt out of his pocket and grabbed a pen off the counter. He hurriedly scribbled something down on it before slapping it down on the counter.

“See ya around!” He grabbed his bags and went back out to his car.

You looked at the receipt.  _ GaMzEe MaKaRa (O:  _ it read, followed by his phone number and address.

You smiled a bit and glanced back up at the clock. 10:08. A few minutes late, but you didn’t really mind. After all, you had possibly saved a goat, and met someone new. Now you just had to make sure about the goat.


End file.
